can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
