Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize