My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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