You're so nebulous sometimes
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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