apparently the secret to your success is patron
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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