You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
