god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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