Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
