I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
