Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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