we're blogging at a bar
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
