Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
