I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
That accounts for only three of the penises
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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