yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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