i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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