Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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