What did we do last night that was yellow?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
