Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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