So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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