I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
