I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
