drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize