I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i came on her dog
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
