But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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