Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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