You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
