His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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