You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How external is "for external use only"?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
