she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
