I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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