GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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