why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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