I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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