420 ftw
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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