Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
