she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
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Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
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Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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