You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
