I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
