Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
