um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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