Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize