It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize