I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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