; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
only you would photoshop your dick
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
