Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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