Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
