Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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