i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
