PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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