I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
