you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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