i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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