This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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