I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
