So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
