I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My penis needs a shock collar
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
how does that bad decision feel?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
