please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
