we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
