I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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