I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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