Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
