i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
