My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize