at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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