dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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