I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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